middleaudio.com Forum Index » The Coffee Shop » Musician Jokes    View previous topic :: View next topic  Musician Jokes Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:55 am giggleycraft Active Member   Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 61 What's the difference between a Musician and a picnic table? A picnic table can support a family of 4. Little Willie says to Mommy: "I want to be a musician when I grow up" Mommy replies: "Well, Willie, you can't do both, you know!" Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:17 am macrae11 Andrew MacRae   Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 1258 Location: Oromocto Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . it took him 4 hours to get the drummer out. _________________ www.mastertracks.ca Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:34 am Drumwaiter Matt Benoit   Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 3020 Location: Saint John, New Brunswick What's the best method of birth control amongst drummers? Their personality... I mean it's hard to knock anyone up if you can't get laid. _________________ "I like my reverbs the way I like my women, dark with a short tail." - Scott DeVarenne "A woman could trust me so long as her interests didn't run too contrary to my own." - Thomas Crown Mathieu Benoit - Fluid Productions www.fluidaudiogroup.com Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 3:16 pm LarryS Bronze Member   Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 111 What do you call a guitar player who does not have a girl friend? * * * * * HOMELESS _________________ Is it just me? Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:09 am giggleycraft Active Member   Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 61 How can you tell a stage is level? Drool is coming out both sides of the drummer's mouth. What's the range of a viola? About 50 feet if you've got a good arm. Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 9:36 pm Greg H. Bronze Member   Joined: 27 Feb 2009 Posts: 221 Location: Quispamsis, N.B One night at Club Chintz, the mindreader closes her set by reading the mind of the each of the musicians in the band. First, she reads the mind of the lead guitarist: "Wow, look at all the cute chicks who showed up tonight! I bet they're all here to see me. Good crowd!" Then the drummer: "Look at that crowd! With this many people in the house, we're going to make good money tonight!" Then the Keyboard player: "Yeesh, look at that crowd. None of them will ever truly appreciate all of my talent. What a bunch of losers." Finally, the Bass player: "E E E E E E E E A A A A A A A A E E E E E E E E..." _________________ Make Awkward Sexual Advances, Not War. Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:32 am Jef Silver Member   Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 486 What's the difference between a drum solo and sneakers in the dryer? . . . . . . . . . . . . I don't know either..... _________________ "I did what any good producer would do. I rolled a fatty." - Mixerman - Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:57 pm roachie Sean Roach   Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 402 How do you get a guitar player to stop noodling? . . . . . . . Sheet music Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 4:21 pm dylanger Bronze Member   Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 116 How do you make two drummers play together in time . . . . . . . . . Shoot one....... Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 4:54 pm Christian LeBlanc Bronze Member   Joined: 01 Nov 2009 Posts: 205 What do you call a live show that's the end result of countless hours of electronic programming, composing, quantizing and hard work? . . . . . . . . . . Karaoke. _________________ http://52weeksproject.blogspot.com/ Comments and critiques always welcome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83VkP8xlwpk My 'light painting' music video! Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:37 pm roachie Sean Roach   Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 402 How many lead singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb... . . . . . . One... They hold it still and the world revolves around them. Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:05 pm Malcolm Boyce Your Humble Host   Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 2256 Location: Saint John, NB What do you do with a drummer who breaks one stick? . . . . . . . Put him up front and let him conduct. _________________ middleaudio.com Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 11:39 pm Jef Silver Member   Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 486 What's the difference between a bass player and a mutual fund? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money. _________________ "I did what any good producer would do. I rolled a fatty." - Mixerman - Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:40 pm Greg H. Bronze Member   Joined: 27 Feb 2009 Posts: 221 Location: Quispamsis, N.B So a seal walks into a club... Not really a musicians joke, it just made me laugh _________________ Make Awkward Sexual Advances, Not War. Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:09 am Drumwaiter Matt Benoit   Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 3020 Location: Saint John, New Brunswick Producer: "Um ..... let's try another pass. There were some pitch problems." Singer: "There were? Where?" Producer: "uhh .... the parts where your mouth moved." _________________ "I like my reverbs the way I like my women, dark with a short tail." - Scott DeVarenne "A woman could trust me so long as her interests didn't run too contrary to my own." - Thomas Crown Mathieu Benoit - Fluid Productions www.fluidaudiogroup.com Musician Jokes   middleaudio.com Forum Index » The Coffee Shop You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum All times are GMT - 3 Hours   Page 1 of 1   All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First  Select a forum Saint John and Area----------------Music and MusiciansSounds Good...The Coffee Shop Archived Forums----------------Gear: Maintenance, Repair and Modification

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